We all say we want to be the kind of parents our kids can talk to about anything. But what we don’t always admit is that “anything” usually includes topics that make us want to disappear into the drywall.
Sex. Desire. Attraction. Identity. Boundaries. All the uncomfortable realities that come with parenting kids in a hyper-informed, hypersexualized, and wildly opinionated world.
We know the world is loud. We know silence isn’t safe. We know if we don’t disciple our kids, culture will. So we try to show up. We plan intentional conversations. We book the mother-daughter trip. We mentally rehearse what we want to say about bodies and boundaries and beauty and God’s design.
But as I learned (somewhat hilariously), even when you try your best, there’s always room for… follow-up.
The Talk, the Trip, and the Twist
A while ago, I planned a special trip with my daughter—a mother-daughter getaway with a clear purpose: to open the door to the awkward but essential conversations. I didn’t want to wait for her to hear about sex and relationships from a YouTube comment section or whispered sleepover confession. I wanted her to hear it first from me, in a safe, loving, Christ-centered space.
We talked about God’s design for sex. That it was created by God for both procreation and pleasure, within the covenant of marriage. I felt like it went well—clear, intentional, not too heavy. We both made it through the conversation still smiling. Mission accomplished.
Or so I thought.
Fast-forward a few weeks. We’re playing a “clean” version of Never Have I Ever on YouTube with my husband and daughter. The game was labeled family-friendly, so we thought, “Why not?” Then the prompt hit:
“Never have I ever walked in on my parents having sex.”
My husband and I made panicked eye contact, quickly shook our heads. “Nope. Definitely not. Thankfully no.” And we fumbled our way to ending the game right then and there.
But then came our daughter’s response:
“Well, obviously that wouldn’t have been possible since I wasn’t born yet.”
Cue the long pause. Cue the slow blink. Cue the sudden realization that… apparently she believed we had had sex once—for procreation, of course—and never again.
So yes, a follow-up conversation was necessary.
Why Clarity (Even When Awkward) Is an Act of Love
The takeaway wasn’t just that I needed to clarify. It was a reminder that vagueness doesn’t protect our kids—it just leaves them to fill in the gaps. And let’s be honest, the gaps will be filled—by peers, pop culture, algorithms, or internal assumptions like the one my daughter made.
That’s why we have to keep coming back to the hard conversations. Even when we feel like we already had them. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when we’re so sure we were clear the first time.
When we hesitate to talk about sex clearly, kindly, and theologically, we don’t avoid confusion—we create it. Our kids need more than “don’t.” They need definition. They need the bigger story. And they need it in language they can understand without having to decode it like a parable.
God Isn’t Awkward About Sex—So We Don’t Have to Be Either
God designed sex. He called it good. And He didn’t blush when He said so.
In fact, Scripture talks about sex with honesty and reverence. From the Song of Solomon to the covenant of Genesis 2:24 to Paul’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 7, the Bible doesn’t treat sex as a taboo subject—but as something powerful, sacred, and deeply spiritual.
If God isn’t ashamed of what He created, we don’t need to be either. Our kids don’t need giggles or gasps—they need truth wrapped in tenderness. Truth that shows them this part of life isn’t separate from faith—it’s part of it.
Practical Wisdom for Having (and Re-Having) the Hard Talks
1. Use clear language, not just theological concepts.
“Sex is good” is true. “Sex is productive and pleasurable” is helpful. But your child may still walk away thinking it happens once, for babies. Use age-appropriate language that still communicates reality. You don’t have to give details—but you do have to be direct.
2. Normalize follow-ups.
There’s no such thing as “one big talk.” There’s a hundred smaller ones, built over years. Leave the door open. Let your kids know they can revisit anything you said, anytime they want, without fear or awkwardness.
3. Don’t wait for the perfect moment.
Waiting for the ideal mood, the ideal maturity, or the ideal question often just leads to silence. Awkward is better than absent. Start the conversation. Clarify later if needed. They don’t need a flawless presentation—they need a faithful parent.
4. Stay rooted in the bigger story.
Sex isn’t a standalone topic. It’s part of the story of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. When we teach it that way, it becomes not just about rules or risks—but about relationship, reverence, and the Gospel.
Show Up. Say It. Then Say It Again.
You’re not failing if your first conversation didn’t land. You’re not failing if your child misunderstood. You’re not failing if you had to revisit it in the most unexpected way.
You’re parenting.
And parenting means circling back. It means clarifying with love. It means laughing through the awkward and leaning into grace when your child thinks you’ve only had sex once in your life.
God isn’t asking you to be perfect. He’s asking you to be present. To speak with courage. To disciple your child in truth—even when it feels a little cringe.
So have the hard conversation. Then have it again. Because clarity isn’t scary—it’s kind.
And the next time a “clean” YouTube game surprises you, at least you’ll know—you’ve got the follow-up ready.
Want Help Starting the Conversation?
We’ve created a free, short resource to help you take the next step with confidence.
👉 Download: How to Start (and Continue) the Conversation About Sex, Faith & the Body
A Parent’s Discussion Guide from the series: Talking Back to Culture
Whether your child is 8 or 18, this quick-reference guide gives you:
✔ Conversation starters by age
✔ Scripture to anchor your approach
✔ Phrases that build trust (even when it’s awkward)
✔ Grace-filled responses when you don’t know what to say
Because you don’t need to be perfect—you just need to be present.
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