For too long, the Church has talked about lust as if it’s a male problem with female consequences.

We’ve taught young men to be vigilant and young women to be careful—because “boys are visual.” We’ve warned girls not to be stumbling blocks while warning boys not to lose control. We’ve wrapped modesty in fear, packaged lust as inevitable (at least for guys), and left most women wondering, “Am I broken for feeling this way? Or invisible because I don’t?”

It’s time to rewrite the narrative.
Because lust isn’t a male problem.
It’s a human one.

How We Got Here

The purity culture movement of the 1990s and early 2000s often separated the sexes into roles:

• Men were the ones who struggled with lust and needed boundaries.
• Women were the ones who caused lust and needed to cover up.

In this framework, modesty became a burden for girls, while lust became an excuse for boys.

That model didn’t form hearts. It formed fear. It caused shame.

And what got lost in the middle? Truth. Accountability. And discipleship that actually makes disciples.

What Scripture Actually Says

The Bible doesn’t limit temptation to one gender. Lust, desire, sin, and holiness are universal categories. Jesus doesn’t say, “If a man looks at a woman…” as a gender-exclusive command. He says:

“Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
—Matthew 5:28

The point isn’t male behavior—it’s the heart.
And all hearts are vulnerable.

James 1:14–15 says,

“Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

Not just men.
Not just women.
Each person.

Yes, Women Lust Too — and It’s Not Subtle Anymore

For too long, we’ve talked about female lust like it’s rare, quiet, or hidden behind soap operas and daydreams. That may have been true once. But not anymore.

We live in a world where female lust is loud, normalized, and monetized. Scroll through social media and you’ll see it everywhere—women objectifying men in the same way we once condemned men for objectifying women.

“Thirst traps” are no longer just a male-enjoyed trend; they’re part of the cultural currency. Entire platforms thrive on selling sexual power as empowerment, and even Christian influencers have learned how to baptize sensuality in Scripture captions and worship songs.

We don’t just participate in lust anymore—we glorify it.

Women publicly talk about their “celebrity crushes” or “book boyfriends,” lusting after fictional men with the same intensity once reserved for pornography. Romance novels and other forms of media often function as emotional porn—feeding a craving for intensity, dominance, and escape.

We call it harmless. But it’s not harmless. It’s hollow.
It’s the same old sin in a new outfit—lust disguised as irony, humor, or empowerment.

Lust doesn’t care about gender.
It’s not about hormones—it’s about hunger.
It’s what happens when our longing for intimacy detaches from holiness and turns inward, seeking satisfaction instead of sanctification.

The Cultural Shift: From Hidden to Celebrated

We used to at least hide lust. Now we market it.
It’s not just tolerated; it’s branded.

Every ad, playlist, show, and influencer feed tells us to lead with desire and call it confidence. Lust has become the language of self-expression. And in a digital age where validation is currency, attention has become the new intimacy.

Women are discipled daily by a world that equates visibility with value.
So when we flaunt or fantasize to feel seen, we’re not being empowered—we’re being formed.

We’re being trained to confuse seduction with significance.

And the Church has been far too quiet about this.

We’ve talked to women about modesty but not about lust.
We’ve warned them not to provoke sin in others but failed to help them confront sin within themselves.

So many Christian women live divided lives—curating and consuming sensuality online while professing holiness in worship. Not because they’re hypocrites, but because no one ever discipled them through this tension.

The Truth the Church Needs to Tell

Here’s what needs to be said out loud:
Lust is not masculine.
Objectification is not male-only.
And temptation is not something women are immune to.

When women indulge lust, it doesn’t always look like pornography—it often looks like emotional voyeurism, fixation, comparison, or the quiet thrill of being desired. It looks like scrolling through “Christian TikTok” accounts that use worship songs as background music for six-pack abs. It looks like daydreaming about the “perfect man” who exists only in fiction.

But all of that is still lust.
It’s still sin.
And it still steals peace, purity, and purpose.

Because the enemy doesn’t care whether lust looks sensual or spiritual—he only cares that it separates you from wholeness.

The Invitation Back to Wholeness

The solution isn’t shame. It’s surrender.

Jesus doesn’t flinch at our desire; He redeems it. He takes the part of us that craves attention, connection, and affirmation—and shows us what those things look like in the Kingdom: intimacy without exploitation, beauty without performance, confidence without compromise.

If we want to walk in holiness, we have to stop pretending that lust is a “men’s ministry” issue and start seeing it as a discipleship issue for every believer.

The call is the same for all of us:

• Stop feeding the algorithm that disciples your appetite.
• Stop baptizing sensuality in spirituality.
• Start practicing restraint that reflects reverence.

We can’t flirt with lust and still call it freedom.
We can’t glorify sensuality and call it empowerment.
We can’t build platforms around seduction and claim to be pointing people to Jesus.

Lust—male or female—will never make us more powerful.
It only makes us more dependent on the approval of others.

Real empowerment comes from purity that’s rooted in purpose.
And holiness will always be more beautiful than hype.

A Cultural Reset for Parents and Leaders

If you’re discipling the next generation, don’t skip this conversation. They’re swimming in a digital world where lust is entertainment, and self-exposure is the currency of attention.

Don’t wait until they’re struggling to talk about it.
Start early. Start often. Start with the truth that:

• Desire itself isn’t sinful—it’s meant to point us toward God.
• Attention can’t fill the ache that only belonging can heal.
• What we consume forms what we crave.

Give them a better vision of love, beauty, and holiness. Show them what strength under control looks like—not repression, but reverence.

Because we can’t disciple hearts we’re too afraid to confront.
And we can’t heal from what we keep calling harmless.