Author: The Weight of the Ring
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What If Love Isn’t a Feeling?
Rediscovering the Biblical Definition of Love — Covenant vs. Chemistry Our culture has built its entire understanding of love on one shaky foundation: feeling. We talk about love like it’s a spark, a connection, a rush of dopamine when the right person walks into the room. We say we “fell in love,” like it’s something…
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The Gospel of Self vs. The Gospel of Surrender
How Self-Expression Reshapes Obedience We live in a world that preaches a clear gospel—it just isn’t the one Jesus preached. It’s the gospel of self.And it sounds like freedom.It promises empowerment, authenticity, and peace. It says things like: “Follow your heart.”“Speak your truth.”“Do what makes you happy.”“You can be anything you want to be.” But…
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When Parents Stop Parenting: Your Child Needs a Shepherd, Not a Sidekick
We don’t need more cool parents.We need more courageous ones. Every generation has its parenting trends. Some lean toward control. Others toward freedom. But right now, we’re living in the era of “gentle everything.” Gentle parenting. Gentle boundaries. Gentle accountability. And while empathy is biblical and needed, passivity is not. Too many Christian parents have…
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Why our cultural pendulum swings from repression to liberation still misses the heart of God’s design
– Jennifer Carr I heard something online the other day that really bothered me. The young woman said: “True feminists aren’t pushing purity culture or trying to slut-shame women. We understand that sexual liberation and sexual empowerment are essential for women’s health and safety. A society that teaches abstinence breeds violence against women. When we…
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Craving vs. Desire: What’s Driving You?
Let’s talk about the difference between craving and desire. Because they might look the same on the surface—but they come from very different places.One is rooted in wholeness.The other, in emptiness. And if we want to walk in holiness, freedom, and self-control, we need to know the difference. Craving: A Signal of Emptiness Craving shows…
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Lust Isn’t a Male-Only Problem: Rewriting the Narrative for Both Men and Women
For too long, the Church has talked about lust as if it’s a male problem with female consequences. We’ve taught young men to be vigilant and young women to be careful—because “boys are visual.” We’ve warned girls not to be stumbling blocks while warning boys not to lose control. We’ve wrapped modesty in fear, packaged…
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Modesty Isn’t Just for Girls: Talking to Young Men About Honor and Holiness
Modesty Isn’t Just for Girls: A Word to Young Men About Honor and Holiness For too long, the conversation about modesty in the Church has been directed almost entirely at girls—what they wear, how they sit, what they post, how they “make others stumble.”But if modesty is a posture of the heart, then every believer…
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Modesty: What It Is, What It Isn’t, and Why It Still Matters
There are few topics in the Church that come with as much baggage as modesty. For some, the word brings up images of dress codes and shame, youth group talks and oversized t-shirts at summer camp. For others, it feels outdated or even oppressive—a leftover from purity culture that did more harm than good. But…
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Stop Asking “How Far Is Too Far?” and Start Asking “How Do I Honor God with This Longing?”
For decades, the conversation around sex and boundaries in Christian circles has been reduced to a single question:“How far is too far?” It’s the question that echoed through youth group Q&As, summer camps, and dating devotionals. And most of us asked it with sincerity. We wanted to do the right thing. We wanted to honor…
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Discipling Teens in a Theology of the Body: Teaching Them They’re Not a Mistake
Teenagers are asking questions about their bodies, their desires, and their identity long before most adults feel ready to answer. And in the absence of clear, grounded guidance, they turn to the loudest voices available—TikTok therapists, YouTube personalities, trending aesthetics, and sexualized content that shows up before they’ve even gone looking for it. They’re not…
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Embodied and Whole: Why Our Theology of the Body Matters
For so long, many of us were taught to focus on our souls and ignore our bodies—as if discipleship was a spiritual endeavor only, and our physical selves were a distraction at best or a liability at worst. We were told to pursue holiness, but rarely taught how to live as holy humans—with hormones, hunger,…
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What Pop Culture Is Teaching Our Children About Love
by Jennifer Carr A Personal Confession: I Never Caught the Swiftie Bug I’ve never been a fan of Taylor Swift. Ever. From her very first single, I didn’t like listening to her voice. I’m not saying that to be cruel—it simply struck me as immature and pitchy. And her persona always came across as though…
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When Your Child Is Facing the Consequences of Sex
You never wanted this day to come.But now it’s here. Maybe your teenager just found out they’re pregnant.Maybe your son got someone else’s daughter pregnant.Maybe they’re battling heartbreak, an STI scare, a reputation crisis—or just the soul-deep ache that comes from giving their body to someone who didn’t honor it. And you’re standing there, feeling…
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Your Kid Saw Porn. Now What?
How to parent through exposure and not panic. You didn’t think it would happen this soon.Or this easily.But one day, a browser history, a text thread, a pop-up ad—or a tearful confession—pulled the curtain back. Your child or teen has been exposed to pornography. It feels like a punch to the gut.Your mind races: What…
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Why Your Kid Doesn’t Need Privacy on the Internet
We don’t hand toddlers steak knives and expect them to figure it out.We don’t hand teenagers car keys and say, “Good luck, I trust you.” But somehow, many Christian parents hand over full, unfiltered access to the internet and call it “respecting privacy.” Let’s be clear: Your child’s brain is not wired to handle that…
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When the Gospel Meets the Body: Parenting, Sex, and the Story of Redemption
As parents, we often feel the pressure to get it all right. Especially when it comes to conversations about sex, the body, and biblical boundaries, we want to say the perfect thing, give the clearest answers, and raise kids who never struggle the way we did. But the truth is—we’re not called to raise perfect…
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When Fantasy Becomes a Crutch
You say it’s just for fun.That it keeps things exciting.That it “helps” your marriage or revives your desire. But here’s a harder question: What would your sex life look like without it? No porn.No explicit fiction.No fantasy scripts.No third-party stimulation of any kind. If the honest answer is: “We wouldn’t know how to connect,”or “I…
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Is Waiting Really Worth It?
“I wish I had waited for my husband.He’s the only man who ever deserved my heart, my body, and my soul…And I didn’t wait for him.Some nights, that keeps me up.” I’ve heard some version of this confession more times than I can count.And every time, it comes from a place of deep love—and deep…
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Purity Was Never About Performance
It was always about presence. We’ve heard it framed a thousand ways: “Don’t cross the line.”“Save yourself.”“Don’t mess up.” So we tried.We tried to be good.To be pure.To be worthy. And when we succeeded, we felt proud.And when we failed, we felt ruined. Because somewhere along the way, purity became a performance.A spiritual tightrope act.A…
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What to Say to the Struggling Teen
“I love you. I’m not leaving. I’ll walk with you—even through this.” We all want to be ready for the conversation.You know the one.The moment your teen confesses something you didn’t expect—or weren’t prepared to hear. Maybe it’s about sex.Maybe it’s about identity.Maybe it’s about porn, pregnancy, shame, or questions they’ve been carrying alone for…
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I Didn’t Wait. Now What?
Maybe you didn’t wait for marriage to have sex. Maybe it was a decision you made in a moment.Maybe it was a relationship you thought would last.Maybe it wasn’t fully your choice at all.Maybe you were told it wouldn’t matter.Maybe you were told it would ruin you forever. Whatever your story, you’re here now—with a…
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Staying Whole in a World That Wants to Divide You: Sexual Integrity in the Age of Porn, Privacy Screens, and Thirst Traps
If you’re a single young adult trying to follow Jesus in this cultural moment, you’re not just facing temptation—you’re navigating constant exposure. Sex isn’t hidden anymore. It’s monetized. Mainstream. Masquerading as empowerment and self-expression. You see it on TikTok, in gym mirror selfies, in dating apps that ask for “preferences” while quietly promoting disconnection over…
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Faithful, Not Forgotten: Reclaiming Sexual Integrity in Singleness
There’s a quiet shame that often follows adult singleness—especially for those who grew up in Christian spaces where marriage was seen as the reward for faithfulness. You waited. You stayed pure. You honored God. But now you’re thirty. Or forty. Or older. And you’re still single. Meanwhile, the messages around you—from culture, family, and sometimes…
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How to Talk to the Next Generation About Sex, Faith, and the Body—Without Shame or Silence
For many of us, the conversations we didn’t have growing up shaped us just as much as the ones we did. When it came to sex, desire, and the body, silence spoke volumes. The Church may have taught us that our bodies were temples, but few of us were ever given a blueprint for what…
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Rebuilding After the Ring: Healing from the Wounds of Purity Culture in Adulthood and Marriage
For many of us, the “ring” symbolized hope. It was a promise—to ourselves, to God, to our future spouse—that we would remain sexually pure. We wore it proudly, not because we fully understood the theology behind it, but because we were told it was the right thing to do. And we believed that if we…
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Have the Hard Conversation Anyway: Why Awkward Doesn’t Mean Off-Limits
We all say we want to be the kind of parents our kids can talk to about anything. But what we don’t always admit is that “anything” usually includes topics that make us want to disappear into the drywall. Sex. Desire. Attraction. Identity. Boundaries. All the uncomfortable realities that come with parenting kids in a…
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What We Were Never Told: Reframing True Love Waits and the Theology That Came With It
If you grew up in the Church during the 1990s or early 2000s, you probably remember the pledge cards, the silver rings, the purity contracts, and the conferences with stadiums full of teenagers promising to “wait.” True Love Waits was the centerpiece of evangelical youth culture for a generation. And in many ways, it was…
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Reclaiming a Sacred View of Sexuality and the Body
What if the fear that shaped our faith wasn’t fear of God’s wrath, but fear of His rejection? I wasn’t afraid of God—at least, not in the way people think. I was afraid of what He thought of me. That’s the subtle wound fear-based theology leaves behind. It doesn’t drive us to worship in awe.…
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The Weight of the Ring: What True Love Waits Didn’t Teach Us
I still remember the shine of the ring. It was simple—silver, engraved, and full of promise. A promise I made to God, to my future spouse, to my family, and to myself. I wore it with pride at thirteen, after signing a card at a youth conference that made abstinence feel like an act of…
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